


I feel the gravity between us (and you can too)

by justhockey



Series: Sing To Me Instead [5]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Honestly so is Travis, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nolan is soft, Very very very mild sexual content, Zach and Willy are changing the world, it’s just mentioned briefly, like basically nothing at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 14:51:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18471199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhockey/pseuds/justhockey
Summary: It’s too much, okay. Because he smells so good, and his smile is literally the sun, and Nolan is maybe, possibly in love with him.Whatever. It’s not like, a big deal, or anything. It’s just the way it is.





	I feel the gravity between us (and you can too)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from _Temporary Love_ by Ben Platt.

It’s so fucking weird, to be quite honest. Like, it’s been over a week, but it’s still all anyone is talking about. Zach Hyman and William Nylander. The explosive Leafs forwards who are openly in a relationship. 

Never in his life, in his _craziest_ dreams, did Nolan expect to be playing in the NHL with out players. It just wasn’t something he’d ever expected, _anyone_ had ever expected. He’d always figured the NHL was decades away from having openly queer players. Shit. There weren’t even any openly queer _retired_ players. So it just wasn’t even on the radar really. 

And like, Nolan knows it wasn’t their choice. He can’t even imagine the way they felt when those pictures got leaked, because the second he saw them his hands started to shake and his heart started to race, and they had nothing to do with Nolan. He knows how scared they must have been, but fuck. The way they just took it and ran with it, making the _You Can Play_ video, posting each other on instagram, it amazed Nolan. There wasn’t even a hint of shame, they were proud to tell the world they were in love, and that was. A lot. For Nolan, at least. 

Seeing people just like him in happy relationships while playing hockey? It was all Nolan had ever wanted, but never let himself hope for. He’s bi like Hyman, so he figures it’s slightly easier for him than gay players, because at least he has the option to date girls, he can pass as straight, but still. Liking guys is a huge part of who he is, a part that had taken a long time for him to accept, and to see people like him getting to be happy. It’s everything. 

But he’d felt sick the first time he walked into the locker room after the picture had leaked, and then again after the video release. Because he’s been around hockey players his whole life, he knows exactly what they’re like, and he was terrified to hear all the comments his teammates were going to make. But. They were _all_ positive. 

The first time, G was shaking with anger on Hyman and Nylander’s behalf, over the picture being leaked. Then after the video, JVR was practically bursting with pride for his friends. Nolan wanted to cry. He remembers sitting at his locker, listening to the general chatter as he laced his skates. Just hearing all his teammates, his _friends_ , be so accepting, it gave him hope. 

He knew he wasn’t ready to come out, exactly, but just knowing that if and when he chose to, he would have their support, it was beyond a relief. He was grinning uncharacteristically, but if anyone noticed, they didn’t acknowledge it. Except Trav, who had a matching grin on his face as he’d winked at Nolan. 

And fuck. That was Nolan’s problem right there. 

Travis Konecny’s eyes, and smile, and hair, and _everything_. He made Nolan fucking _weak_. And okay. Nolan had spent a lot of time imagining Travis wanting him back, literally fucking _dreaming_ about it. But here’s the thing. Nolan thinks that maybe, _maybe_ Travis _does_ want him. 

Because while a lot of things were purely his imagination, he didn’t imagine the way Travis always slept on his shoulder during flights or bus rides. He didn’t imagine all the times Travis ended up falling asleep in Nolan’s bed while they were on the road. And he _definitely_ didn’t imagine the time that Travis pressed his lips against Nolan’s neck after his OT goal (although he spent a lot of time _after_ it happened imagining it). 

So. _Maybe_. But it’s not like Nolan is ever actually going to do anything about it, because, no. Travis is his best friend, and maybe he’d been reading it all wrong. Or maybe he’d been reading it _right_ but things wouldn’t work out. There were so many ways it could end in disaster, so Nolan would rather pine from afar than risk their friendship and their hockey. 

He was _dealing_ , okay. 

*

Nolan is unequivocally _not_ dealing. At all. In the slightest. 

Because Travis is so fucking handsy. Like, all the fucking time. If he’s not got his arm around Nolan’s shoulders, then his hand is in his hair or on his thigh, or he’s resting his head on Nolan’s shoulder. And it’s too much, okay. Because he smells so good, and his smile is literally the sun, and Nolan is maybe, possibly in love with him. 

Whatever. It’s not like, a big deal, or anything. It’s just the way it is. 

But Travis keeps making things _harder_ for him. In more ways than one. 

If he’d been a menace before, he was somehow even _worse_ now. And Nolan tries not to notice that he kicked the touching up a gear right after Hyms and Nylander came out. But like. It’s hard to ignore it when Travis has now taken to sitting on his lap at any possible opportunity. 

And okay. Trav probably _knows_ Nolan is gone for him. And maybe he feels the same, maybe he’s just comfortable enough in his sexuality that he doesn’t mind cuddling his bro. But either way, Nolan doesn’t want the _team_ to figure out how whipped he is for his best friend. Because he knows they’d be fine with it now, but that doesn’t mean he’s _ready_ yet. 

And he’d really rather not have them find out when he pops a boner because Travis is wriggling around on his lap, thank you _very_ much. 

So he tries to keep him at arms length. Not, like, distant. Because Trav really is his best friend and they can’t go more than few hours without talking to each other. Just, he tries to put a stop to all the touchy-feely stuff. Not completely, that would just look weird to everyone who knows them, but a little bit. Enough to give him some breathing room, because if Nolan has to handle an armful of Travis _one more time_ , he’s not sure he can be held responsible for his actions. 

Except. Travis is Travis. And well, he kind of likes to do whatever he wants. And apparently, what he wants is to drive Nolan absolutely _insane_. 

“Nooooolan,” Travis sings. 

They’re all at G’s place playing chel, and Travis, as always, arrives late. G’s place is big enough that there’s plenty room for everyone, yet Travis immediately seeks Nolan out the second he steps through the door. 

“No, no Teeks, go sit somewhere else,” Nolan says when Travis starts to approach him. 

Of course, Trav is grinning maniacally as he practically stalks forwards, completely disregarding Nolan’s protests. 

“But baby,” he pouts as he gets closer. 

Ryan snorts, but before Nolan has a chance to say anything Trav is throwing himself onto his lap and wrapping his arms around Nolan’s neck. 

“Teeks,” Nolan says, deadpan. 

“Yes, Patty?” He asks, fluttering his eyelashes sarcastically. 

“Get the fuck off me,” Nolan says. 

He tries to shove at Trav to get him off, because fuck. He smells good and Nolan _really_ likes the way it feels to have Trav’s arms wrapped around him, and it’s about to start showing on his face if he doesn’t get the hell off him. So Nolan can’t control his heart eyes okay, _fuck you_ for bringing it up. It’s not his fault. 

“You don’t mean that Patty, I know you love me,” TK teases.

And like, that’s kind of the problem really, _Travis_. 

He’s clinging to Nolan, his arms so tight around Nolan’s neck that he’s actually kind of struggling to breathe. And okay. So Nolan doesn’t hate it, obviously. But also, he _hates_ it, because he’s about 10 seconds from grabbing hold of TK’s face and just, like, kissing him. In front of everyone. So he needs to get him off Right Fucking Now. 

“Get off me.”

His voice is a little firmer this time, and he doesn’t even look at Travis as he shoves at him. He doesn’t want to make things weird, he’s actively trying to _not_ make things weird, that’s the whole point of this. But it’s a hell of a lot harder to do that when the guy he’s probably in love with is sitting in his lap, grinning at him with that _smile_. 

And Teeks clearly picks up on the change of tone and the tension in his shoulders, because his brows furrow a little and he leans back to look Nolan in the eye. Nolan can feel himself blush, because obviously. But his cheeks are rosy like 98% of the time anyway, so he figures he can probably get away with it. 

“You okay, Patty?” Travis asks, his voice low. 

He can tell Nolan is being a little off with him. Like, of course he can, they know each other better than anyone, they practically _live_ together, for God’s sake. He’s bound to pick up on the subtle changes, but Nolan can’t let him think there’s anything to it. Because once Travis latches onto something, he absolutely will _not_ let it go, and this is something Nolan really needs to just be ignored. 

“I’d be better if your fat ass wasn’t crushing me,” he chirps, smirking as he takes advantage of TK’s momentary lapse in attention and shoves him onto the floor. 

“Wow,” Travis says, “I can’t believe you’d betray me like that.”

Nolan is about to reply but he doesn’t get the chance. 

“Will you two fuckers stop flirting and shut up?” JVR complains as he tries to score against Carter. 

Travis looks up at Nolan from where he’s sitting on the floor and grins. Nolan rolls his eyes but let’s a small smile work it’s way onto his face. Teeks shifts so he’s leaning against Nolan’s legs and proceeds to critique JVR’s every move on screen. 

They’re fine. Everything is fine. 

*

They lose to the Capitals at home and it’s starting to feel like they’re never going to beat them. Nolan kind of just wants to go home and mope, but they all get dragged out for a drink on the captains orders. 

He’s sitting in one of the booths they’ve taken over, with Courts on one side and Travis on the other. Well. Travis is less sitting _next_ to him, and more sitting _on_ him. He would protest, really, he _would_ , but there’s hardly any room, so it makes sense that they take up as little as possible. And also Nolan has had a drink or two to try and chill out after the loss, so that probably has something to do with it as well. 

He’s not really focusing on any of the conversations going on around him, he’s too aware of the heat of Travis’ body pressing into his own. So he’s looking around the room, people watching when something catches his eye. 

There’s a couple at the bar. And they’re definitely a couple, because they look far too comfortable and easy with each other to have only just met. The guy with dark hair has his hand resting on the lower back of the guy with blonde hair. They’re laughing at something, leaning so close that their noses are practically touching, and it makes Nolan kind of ache. Because as the blonde haired guy presses a soft kiss to his boyfriends neck, Nolan realises how much he _wants_. 

He wants to be able to laugh with someone like that, to kiss them, and lay in bed with them. It’s disgustingly soft, okay, he knows. But he can’t help but crave it. Aside from a few messy blowjobs in cramped bathroom stalls, he’s never gotten to have anything with a guy before, not a serious relationship where he just gets to be his authentic self. And yeah, it fucking sucks. Because he knows exactly who he wants it with, and he’s currently half sitting on Nolan’s lap with his hand gripping his thigh, and his eyes trained on Nolan. 

It’s just too much. 

He offers Travis an awkward smile and then manoeuvres him so he can stand up. After explaining that he’s tired and wants to go home, he squeezes out of the booth and leaves the club. He knows it’s way earlier than he’d normally leave, and it’s not lost on him that he and Teeks normally catch an Uber home together, but he just needed to get out of there. 

He felt like he was suffocating. Like, he knows that realistically he could have found a guy to hook up with if he’d wanted to. He’d not done that around the team before, but if he was willing to out himself then he could have. He knows the guys would have been cool with it, if it a little surprised, maybe. But the thing is, he didn’t _want_ to. He didn’t want to sleep with some random guy and not have it mean anything. He wanted _Travis_. It was as simple as that. 

Part of him was hoping Travis would follow him out, but he doesn’t, so when his Uber arrives Nolan climbs in, leaning his head against the cool window as they drive. 

It doesn’t take long to get home, and once he gets inside his apartment he lets out a groan. He rubs his eyes then runs his hands through his hair. He wasn’t lying when he said he was tired, because he really is exhausted. He strips off his clothes, changes into a pair of sweats, then climbs into bed. Like always, Nolan lies on his back and begins scrolling through his Instagram feed. Nothing like boring life updates to send you straight to sleep. 

Except. He pauses on a picture posted by Zach Hyman. He wouldn’t think anything of it normally, but everything is kind of different now. It’s a picture of him and Willy, grinning as they hold each other tight in a celly. And honestly, there’s nothing conspicuous about it; there are a million pictures like that, of a million different players, it’s just a typical celly. But it’s them, and they’re in love, and the caption makes Nolan’s heart hurt. 

_**zachhyman:** everything is better with you_

He locks his phone, places it on his night stand, then closes his eyes. He needs the day to be over, like, now. 

*

When Nolan wakes up, he can’t quite figure out why at first. It’s still dark outside, so it’s definitely too early for his alarm. But then he hears a pounding on his door, and he figures that must have been his wake up call. 

Who the _fuck_ is at his door at - he checks his phone - _three am._

He considers not answering and just rolling over and going back to sleep, but then the pounding starts up again. He groans loudly as he kicks off the covers and gets out of his bed. Nolan is grumbling the entire way through his apartment to his front door, and is fully ready to _murder_ whoever the _fuck_ thinks it’s okay to wake him up at this time. 

He unlocks the door and yanks it open with a surprising amount of force, considering he was asleep less than two minutes ago. 

“Hi.” 

Of fucking _course_ it’s Travis. Who else would it be. 

“You better be fucking dying, TK,” Nolan mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

Travis just grins, “Not exactly.”

“It’s three in the fucking morning.”

Travis just pushes past Nolan and walks into his apartment as if he owns the place. (To be fair they do spend most of their time there, but that is _not_ the point). 

“I know, but I needed to talk to you,” Trav says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“At three in the fucking morning?”

“ _Yes_ Patty, it’s important.”

Travis is sitting sideways on Nolan’s couch with his legs crossed underneath him. He looks wide awake, so he’s probably not even been to sleep yet, but he doesn’t seem drunk, so Nolan doubts he’s come straight from the club. He goes to sit down too, his back against the arm of the couch so he’s facing Travis. Who’s just, like, staring at him. 

“I’m waiting?” Nolan says, trying not to get frustrated with him. 

Because as much as he wants to kiss him. And maybe marry him and adopt a few kids - _whatever_ \- Nolan does _not_ appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night. 

Travis looks startled at first, and then, “Oh right, yeah. The talking.”

But he doesn’t say anything else, instead just continuing to stare at Nolan. He suddenly becomes very aware that he isn’t wearing a t-shirt. And it’s not like they haven’t seen each other undressed before, they’ve seen each other butt-naked in the locker room plenty times, but. It feels different somehow. Intimate when it’s just them, in a way it never has been in the locker room. 

“Travis,” Nolan says, startling him again. 

“Hi,” he replies, smiling. 

“Hi,” Nolan sighs, “what did you want?”

Travis nods. 

“Yeah, okay, so the thing is. I don’t think you’re a homophobe.”

And. _What?_

“Okay? Thank you? I mean, what the fuck are you talking about Teeks?” Nolan asks, because _seriously_ , this is absolutely not the time for whatever kind of conversation this is going to be. 

“Like, I saw you watching those guys tonight and I don’t think it’s because you’re homophobic,” Travis clarifies, except it doesn’t clarify _anything_ , really. 

“I’m not,” Nolan says, because what else is there to say?

“Yeah I figured.”

And honestly, Travis is just talking in riddles at this point. Nolan isn’t exactly surprised, because Trav sleeps more than anyone he’s ever met, and he’s probably delusional from sleep deprivation right now. But he was the one who showed up at Nolan’s apartment. So, this is entirely on him. 

“Travis, please tell me what the hell you are talking about so I can go back to sleep.”

“Okay, I think you know what this is about,” Trav says, looking down at where he’s wringing his hands together. 

Oh you have _got_ to be joking. Nolan takes a breath to stop himself from losing his shit. 

“Teeks, I have absolutely _no idea_ what you’re talking about.”

Nolan realises, probably a little belatedly, that Travis looks nervous. And yeah. That’s not really an expression he’s used to seeing on his best friends face, because he _never_ gets nervous. But he thinks he can be forgiven, seeing as it’s the middle of the fucking night. 

“Travis, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Nolan asks, starting to feel a little worried. 

He leans forward to rest his hand on Travis’ knee, but he won’t meet Nolan’s eye. 

“Tell me if I’m reading this wrong,” Travis starts, still refusing to meet Nolan’s eye, “but I think you feel the same.”

Nolan’s breath catches a little, because surely Trav isn’t talking about what it sounds like he’s talking about. 

“What?”

“I just, it feels like there’s something here, you know? Between us?” Travis says, finally looking at Nolan. “And if I’m wrong then I’ll leave and we can pretend this never happened.”

Nolan shakes his head so fast he’s possibly given himself whiplash. 

“No!” He says, and Travis winces. “No! I mean, don’t leave. Yes, there is, _something_.”

And holy fuck. He can barely breathe as he watches the grin spread across Travis’ face. It’s impossible not to mirror it, and they kind of just sit there for a while, smiling at each other without saying or doing anything. But it’s Travis who finally breaks the silence. 

“I just, I figured we could actually _do this_ now. You know, now that the league has players who are out. We could try.”

Nolan has honestly never wanted anything more in his life. Except maybe the Stanley Cup, but honestly it’s pretty close. 

“I’d like that, Teeks. Fuck, I’d _really_ like that,” Nolan replies. 

It doesn’t take anything else. Travis leans forward to capture Nolan’s lips in a kiss. It’s better than Nolan could have ever envisioned, soft and slow and he feels it right down to his toes. He tangles his hand in Travis’ hair and tugs him impossibly closer, eliciting an _obscene_ moan from him. And fuck, does Nolan want. But honestly, he wants to _sleep_ more. 

“Travis, Trav,” he murmurs against his lips, “there’s nothing I want more than for you to fuck me into next week, but it’s literally the middle of the night.”

Travis pulls back, and laughs as he rests his forehead on Nolan’s shoulder. Nolan laughs breathlessly as well, resting his head against Travis’ as they both catch their breath. 

“Yeah, sorry about the late visit,” Travis says, his breath warm against Nolan’s bare shoulder. 

“Come to bed with me,” Nolan says, his voice gentle and slightly hesitant, as if Travis would ever refuse him anything. 

He can feel Travis smile against his skin and nod, so they pull themselves apart and make their way into Nolan’s room. Travis just strips his clothes off, climbing into bed beside Nolan in just his boxers. Not that Nolan is complaining, because honestly, even half asleep he can appreciate that Travis is a work of art. 

As Nolan curls into Trav’s side, with his head resting in the crook of his neck, he feels an unbelievable sense of calm wash over him, like this is exactly where he supposed to be. 

That could just be the exhaustion though.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I’m not that familiar with the Flyers, I just love Nolan and TK.


End file.
